So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
