This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
