the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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