I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i will never coherently bang her
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
