If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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