Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
