I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
