i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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