I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
