We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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