Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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