I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
