Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
