What a fucking waste of an outfit
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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