i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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