I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
