I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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