Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
