Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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