When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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