I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
