If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
