i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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