why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
