Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
