haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
