Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
