It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
