if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to make out with him forever
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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