Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
