But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
