Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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