hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
