Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
