This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
