Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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