Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
