I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And then my night got REAL pukey
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
