Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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