i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
