I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is wine microwaveable?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
