So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do herpes really smell.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
