U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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