And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
