i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
