You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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