umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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