And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
