i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
