who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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