You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
