I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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