just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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